Who wants a body massage?

This has absolutely nothing to do with music and and I'm sure you've seen them before but these make me pee my pants....

Sky Larkin - New Video!

Now then, Now then! So after a week sunning myself and eating out every night I return to Newcastle as a slightly less ghostly figure. The first thing thats brought to my attention as i re-acquaint myself with teh intenetz is the new Sky Larkin video. They're from Leeds and they remind me of good Veruca Salt. The tune's called 'Fossil, I'. Boss, mate!

Ross Killed Yer!

“There’s a lot of joy to be taken from the misfortune of others”. This is a delightful saying that sprung up on a recent visit to the Roskilde festival, held yearly just outside of Copenhagen, Denmark. Whilst basking in the glorious sunshine, drinking icy booze and contemplating seeing bands who fitted unarguably in the ‘legendary’ category, we spared a thought for all the poor fuckers back in the UK enduring the mini-monsoon season it was experiencing. And it made us happy…



Due to the extreme heat and lure of good, cold beer in the ‘Media Village’ during the daytime, it was up to the higher-up-the-bill bands to impress. This probably sounds like a waste of a festival to you hardened tent-dwellers; but consider this – over the course of 4 nights we saw Radiohead, Kings of Leon, Grinderman, Battles, The Streets, Neil Young, Slayer and Jay Z. Daytime performances by the incredible Band of Horses and not quite so incredible Kate Nash were also received, but it really was up to the big guns to provide our entertainment.




Clutch opened the proceedings on the Thursday and did so in style. Redneck charisma + blues riffs = good. That night I also saw Radiohead. You may not have heard of them. They’re from Oxford I think, keep an ear out for them. I predict good things.



I really can’t stress enough how damn hot it was throughout the course of the festival (apart from when Jay Z played bizarrely, when it proceeded to piss it down). Even though the evening was setting as Kings Of Leon hit the stage, it was still *hot*, and it suited their country-fried rock perfectly. They’re pretty much bona-fied super stars now and rightly so; tunes like ‘Four Kicks’ and ‘Charmer’ are examples of the most exciting straight-forward rock you’re likely to find in ‘commercially viable ™’ music today.



Grinderman aren’t exactly easy listening and their avant garde, punk approach to music certainly provokes extreme reactions, both positive and negative. In my eyes, Nick Cave is one of the baddest motherfuckers on the planet. He can do no wrong. Even people who were baffled by the music couldn’t deny the brilliance of ‘No Pussy Blues’ though. Grinderman are dirty, brilliant old men.

Battles are ace. A bunch of muso geeks making geeky music that you can dance to. And the drummer used to be in Helmet. Class.

The final act of Friday were probably the biggest shock to me. I remember when The Streets first came out with ‘Original Pirate material’ in 2002, Mike Skinner was a bedroom producer/rapper and little else. Reading how he was incredibly nervous at the prospect of performing live, the signs didn’t look great. Well, six years later and Mr. Skinner has obviously got over his nerves; the man owns the stage tonight and I haven’t had so much fun in a long time. Great tunes, good old crowd participation (he gets everyone to sit down then jump up and ‘go crazy’ when the beat kicks in no less than three times!) and a genuine sense of fun make The Streets live experience a great one and the fact that Mike Skinner is obviously having the show of his life is truly infectious.



Saturday, or as it should be called, the Neil Young day. Definitely one of the most anticipated acts of the weekend, Neil Young is equal parts frustrating and stunning. He plays classics such as ‘Old man’, ‘The Needle And The Damage Done’ and ‘Heart Of Gold’ which are stunning. He also plays a cover of ‘All along the Watchtower’, which he quietly dedicates to ‘my friend Bob’. Just Imagine Neil Young and Bob Dylan sat around, shooting the shit. That would be cool.

He also plays guitar solos all the time and every rock number finishes with the classic rock finish, the one where everyone thrashes their instruments to a crescendo. Only Neil Young’s band do that for about 3 minutes each time. That’s the length of most pop songs.

The band finish with an extremely lengthy, jammed out version of ‘Words’ I think, although it’s hard to tell as everything moulds into each other. Frustrating. But that’s when it hits you – This is Neil fucking Young, and he’s just played a set like they used to in the sixties; when a good hit of acid mixed with a 20 minute guitar solo would feel like a holy experience. I guess he’s stayed true to himself more than most people out there, for that he should be celebrated!



Those mainlanders certainly know how to keep up the party when it comes to festivals, but by day four of Roskilde the novelty starts to wear off and thoughts turn to freshly made beds and home-cooked meals. There are few things that can set the mind back on track when this happens, luckily the prospect of seeing Slayer and Jay Z on the same day are two such things…



Slayer are everything I hoped they’d be, including Kerry King looking like a total dick! They still utterly destroy and Tom Araya is clearly having fun. A perfect summers day metal performance. Slayer fans note, the last three songs of the set were 'Mandatory Suicide', 'Raining Blood' and 'Angel Of Death'. What!?

The skys opened up for Jay Z. Maybe God was one of those middle-class hippies who claimed there was no place for Hip Hop at Glastonbury, using his omnipitency to try and ruin his time at Roskilde? Probably. Anyway, it didn’t work because the Jiggaman put in the performance of a Hip-Hop superstar and Roskilde loved it! His full live band give a fresh slant to classic tunes such as ‘Big Pimpin’’, ‘Hard Knock Life’ and ‘99 Problems’ (which from half way through is mixed with the riff from AC/DC’s ‘Back in Black’) and the man himself proves to be the consummate performer who, although not the best rapper in the world as he’s bizarrely labelled, is certainly a man who continues to ‘push things forward’. I wonder if he’s heard The Streets...

All live pics: Daniel Jones

Opinions are like arseholes...

Cancer Bats – Hail Destroyer (Hassle)
Maybe I’m a little too down with Voorhees or Coliseum to really get this. Like, the guy screams and stuff and the guitar guys plod along with their expensive sounding Mesa Boogies and the whole thing is drenched in money and compression. I’m not saying expensive sounding hardcore records are all bad (Poison the Well’s 'You Come Before You' anyone?) but this record is so far from displaying any real emotion it's almost embarrassing. Cancer Bats are kind of like a not-fun version of Paint It Black meets every 80s hardcore band that is good, but without taking any of their good points onboard and missing the point entirely.
Harry Johns



Kong – Blood Of A Dove/A Hint Of Rennit Innit 7” (Brew/White Drugs)
Kong are a band who, despite garnering a bit of buzz around them of late, have managed to somehow pass me by. These two tracks make me wish I’d taken note sooner. ‘Blood Of A Dove’ revolves around a menacing, Steve Albini-esque riff, contorting and twisting itself to its natural conclusion - a man screaming. And while this is all very satisfactory, it’s ‘A Hint Of Rennit Innit’ that serves up a far more interesting side to the band. Keeping with that Shellac discordance but a little more upbeat, the track delves off in odd tangents that bring a doomy King Crimson to mind before a relentless staccato barrage of pure rock hammers the point home. Admittedly, they’re a band who wear their influences on their sleeve but when it’s as delivered as well as this, who cares?
Charles J. Pritchard



Michael Rossiter – My Dearest Dear (Folk Theatre)
Michael Rossiter is part of a really vibrant and exciting folk scene in Leeds right now. I should know, I live there. But where some try to re-invent the genre, Michael treats us to a collection of traditional folk tunes (aside from 2 original compositions) older than you or I. It’s a suitably lo-fi affair, with easiest reference points being John Fahey and Martin Carthy but with Rossiter’s soft, vunerable vocals adding a certain delicacy to the whole record. I mean, you should just go check out everyone on his MySpace really, there is so much talent surrounding this record that just needs to be paid attention to.
HJ



Lukestar – Lake Toba (Phone Me Records)

Hailing from Norway, Lukestar serve up exactly the kind of post-My Bloody Valentine dreamy indie you come to expect from that part of the world. But in this case that’s not a bad thing at all, managing to inject a bit more urgency into their sound than most with the drive of tracks like ‘Clockworks of Tomorrow’ and ‘Shape of Light’. What you end up with is an exquisite blend of twinkling ethereal atmospherics and no bullshit guitar pop reminiscent of Pretty Girls Make Graves. I was convinced a woman was singing on this, with the vocals coming across like a female Jeremy Enigk. However, I checked out their photos and saw only pictures of men. Weird. Still, if it works for Sigur Ros…
This is an odd but great little record that demands your attention every time it’s on.
CJP

Bossk to split. Final 2 shows announced.

Post-Metal tour machines Bossk have sadly announced there final 2 shows ever. Following the recent announcement of the split by the band, they have now confirmed their last 2 shows in Leeds and London. Bossk have continually stunned audiences over the last 3 years with their intricate, epic tunes and intense work ethic, oh, and hippy incense aromas. RIP Bossk.

"We are now able to announce our final shows!

October 2008

10th - Leeds, The Brudenell.

11th - London, The Underworld.

These will be our last ever shows as a band. Please come down and share this with us. The supports for both shows are our favourite bands that we have played with over the years. We will be selling advance tickets via our webstore starting on 30/08/08 and all advance tickets will come with a free Eyes Of Sound Records sampler to be collected at the show.

Leeds w/ Manatees, The Mirimar Disaster, Dragged Into Sunlight

London w/ Humanfly, Lattitudes, meandgoliath

We will be getting some more merch printed for these last dates, possibly some new hoodies and some awesome hand made screen printed posters.

The DVD will be ready by then, and everyone that pre ordered it from us will be sent out their copies before these shows. We have just added an extra part to the DVD, which will remain a secret until you buy it!

You can still pre order the DVD here www.eyesofsound.com

TICKETS ONSALE NOW! www.bosskmerch.bigcartel.com

See you in Leeds and London.

Bossk

x"

Exterminate. Exterminate.

Human nature tends to dictate the need to constantly label and pigeon-hole, well, everything. Is it some sub-conscious desire for complete order? Fear of anarchy? Maybe we just want total control? (I think the last one is pretty accurate actually). Music suffers from this compulsion more than most, more often than not to give the listeners some kind of identity. “Breaking music apart into genres makes sense if you're in high school, but I'm a grown ass man” says MC Dälek (pronounced ‘dy-a-lek’), “I listen to what I like and I don't care what people call it.”

 Ten years ago, Dälek (comprising of MC Dälek and DJ Oktopus) released their debut album 'Negro Necro Nekros' and have been pushing the boundaries of Hip Hop ever since. By embracing many musical genres and incorporating them into their sound, the New Jersey two-piece have become as well known for playing with experimental metal acts, such as Isis and The Melvins, as much as they have touring with Hip Hop legends Prince Paul and De La Soul. “I definitely like playing to people that wouldn't necessarily come to our shows” says Dälek on a phone line from NJ, “there's definitely an appeal to walking into enemy territory and converting some people.” Surely such involvement with the 'Rock' crowd has sparked criticism from those who consider themselves Hip Hop purists? “It's funny man, a lot of old school heads that I grew up admiring, that I've been lucky enough to play shows with or to tour with, have completely supported what we do. Some have said to me in conversation that they're proud of the fact that we're pushing the envelope and doing this 'out there' stuff.” So you get no criticism then? “Nah” he laughs, “We get criticised by everyone.”

 One fact that will usually come up in a conversation regarding Dälek is their label; Mike Patton's Ipecac records. Never one to shy away from inter-genre incest, it seems the two are a perfect match. “Regardless of what genre of music they release they are an artist-friendly label; we were just concerned about finding a place where we wouldn't be stifled artistically. We've been there for six years now and it's our home, we have no plans on going anywhere.”

It does seem strange to me that a Hip Hop act so reknowned for a truly individual spirit and willingness to create “out-there stuff”, whether embraced by the Hip Hop community or not, are celebrated more for their actions outside of Hip Hop circles, than for their actions within. It seems Dälek himself is equally baffled by the skewed focus on the 'band' -

“Honestly, I think that although our sounds may be different to what people are used to, the ideology behind it all is very Hip Hop. If you look at when Hip Hop started, it started with that DJ mentality of digging through crates and listening to all types of music, picking bits of pieces from everything and making it your own. I think because of that our music has influences from all different types of genres. I mean if you listen to Hip Hop in its early stages it was the same thing. If you listen to Afrika Bambaata, he has Kraftwerk samples; If you listen to KRS-One he used a 'Smoke On The Water' sample. Rock and Hip Hop isn't a new thing, you know what I mean?”

Photo: Herve Baudat

'Rock' fans aren't always the most open-minded of people either, in fact, there are many people who use the music they’re into to define themselves as people, and are totally unaccepting of other genres. Admittedly it seems people's music taste in general is becoming more eclectic; Watching Dizzee Rascal make a field full of young 'Rock' kids very happy at this year’s Reading Festival, I couldn’t help but think that ten years ago he would have been bottled off stage. Dälek seems to relish the destruction when these barriers between genres fall down – “There’s always the people that swear they hate Hip Hop and then after we play they're into what we do. I always tell them “I'm sorry but now you actually like a Hip Hop group. I don't know how to break it to you – I know we sound different but don't get it twisted, it’s still Hip Hop” 

Hey yo! As you may have noticed from reading the content posted so far, some of it has a distinct 'On the road' theme to it. Over the next few days there'll be a couple of Israeli/UK crossover tour-type articles (bet you never thought you'd read that sentence in a music blog), in the form of London's Trencher and Tel Aviv's Monotonix, being uploaded to carry on with that theme.

 

In the meanwhile, check out this clip from Lightning Bolt's Power of Salad DVD, which, in my most humble of opinions, is the greatest documentation of a tour you can get your mitts on. You can find the whole thing on Youtube, but I'd feel bad putting that up. Go buy it!

Still In The Van

“Hell, I figure all of my problems are solved. I have nothing except to play this music and die. There's nothing in my way.” - Henry Rollins, 8^th November 1984 

From 1981 until 1986, Henry Rollins sang for, lived and breathed ; A band who's work ethic and DIY approach to music remains a yardstick for all punk rock bands since. Black Flag toured relentlessly and, for the most part, lived in abject poverty; there was no Rock n' Roll dream for them, just an utter compulsion to play the most aggressive music they could muster. 

It was such a pure outpouring of the anger of American youth that it scared the shit out of most  people, thus causing constant confrontations between the band and the police, and more bizarrely between the band and audience members. Being the focal point of the band, Rollins usually had to deal with this animosity head on. 

Joining in '81, Rollins was already a huge fan of the band (Black Flag played their first gig in 1977 and had three lead vocalists previous to Rollins) and the results were explosive. “Greg (Ginn, guitar) and Chuck (Dukowski, bass) had created the ultimate soundtrack for a full-scale riot” he said in reflection in the collection of his journals ‘Get In The Van’. Published in 1994, the book documents his entire time in Flag; the tour after tour after tour and the frustrating down time between, all in Rollins' frankly misanthropic, youthful bile. Inspirational, or a warning; that's for the reader to decide, either way there is no doubt that 'Get In The Van' is an essential first hand account of the activity of one of the most important hardcore bands of the 80's. Twenty-two years since the break up of Black Flag, we had a brief chat with Henry about his memories of his time in the band... 

Black Flag are still the ultimate 'DIY' band, do you see many bands/acts these days who genuinely have that same attitude and work ethic? 

I think Black flag were a product of their time. The way we toured was the way one did it, pretty much. That was what was available. I think there are plenty of bands these days who have the same kind of drive and commitment. I don’t think living the way we did made the music better necessarily. It did give us not much else to think about though and in that there’s something good. I think it misses the point to conclude that because things are perhaps more efficient and better for touring bands that they are any less committed or pure, I don’t think that’s fair. I think 99% of the bands out there are giving it all they’ve got no matter if they are in the clubs or the arenas.  
 
In the book, the contrast of you reminiscing (1981 & 82) and your actual journal entries is pretty vast! At your age now can you still relate to how angry you were at that time? Or does it feel alien to you now? 

I can relate to the anger but I also see that a good part of that came from frustration and a lack of understanding of things. Also, living conditions can really get to a guy after a while. Again, a lot of all that was a product of circumstances. You get poked often enough, you’ll get a little skittish here and there.  
 


Flag on the road seemed to be a steady diet of violence and misery. What kept you going?  

I can only speak for myself. I kept at it because I thought we were a good band and we were doing something different and it was better than what I was doing before.  
 
Did you ever seriously consider quitting it all and going back to the 9 to 5? 

No. Like I said, it was better than 9 to 5 because you knew, even at its worst, you were living for real and hardly anyone you knew was getting to see things and live this way. It was always worth it.  
 
For people who haven't read the book, What was the average day on the road like? 

A lot of driving. A profound lack of space to yourself. Sometimes there was a bit less food than you would have liked. But at the end of the day, there was the show so that was the purpose and really all I needed to stay focused.  
 
Throughout the book you get the feeling that being in or involved with Black Flag was a constantly intense experience, mostly due to the constant touring. What did you do when it finished? How did you cope? 

We usually went almost immediately into band practice or recording. There were no vacations or anything really. We just lived it all the time.  
 
Do you have good relationships with ex-Flag members?                                                                                   

I see Chuck (Dukowski, bass) now and then. For the most part I don’t really go out of my way to hang out with people if it’s not work related.  
 
What was your favourite line-up of the band? Why? 

My favorite line up was when Keith (Morris, original Black Flag singer, later joined the Circle Jerks) was singing, he was the ultimate. As far as line ups I was in, the 1984 line up.  
 
Through the latter days of Rollins Band 'til now, you've experienced much more 'commercial' success. Is travelling and touring more fun now? 

It’s different. I am allowed to not have to worry about a lot of the small things that took up a lot of my time. This allows me to get more done pre and post show.  
 
Do you still feel the same sense of purpose as when Flag toured? 

More actually. After 27 years of being on the road every year, I have come to the conclusion that this is what I do.

Photos: Glen E. Friedman

 

Kong

Words: Stevie Kilgour

Pic: Mat Holloway

Dark, Sinister and down right scary to look at – Kong are the latest punk spawn of the Manchester music scene. Mixing up the lethargic aggression of Bleach-era  and riffs sharp enough for Albini himself, Kong are musically far more serious than those masks may suggest.     

Hi, how are Kong today? 

Lee: Colourful! 

How does the Kong experience differ from your previous, slightly more commercial bands such as Capulet and Oceansize? 

Steven: We wear the masks.                                                                                          

Lee: We eat the meat. The other bands are vegetarians, vegetarianisms. 

The style of Kong seems very much in the same vein, both musically and image wise, as the punk scene in San Diego, very similar to bands on THREEONEG. Are you heavily influenced by those bands? 

Mark: The Locust. Mainly The Locust, they can play, but we can play better. 

Kong’s image breaks away from the norm, how did the idea for the outfits develop? 

Mark: Just the colour. Red.

Lee: Red, yeah.

Steven: None of us are wearing red today.

Lee: We’ve gone Bermuda today, man.

Steven: I really don’t like wearing red.

Lee: It’s more of a shield I think. 

So no plans to ‘don’ white outfits in stead of red for tonight’s trip across the Pennines to Yorkshire? 

Lee: Nope! No, Andrew WK did that shit. Nah, it’s been done.

Steven: I’m sure someone must have worn red before. 

The White Stripes maybe? 

Mark: That’s white, they’re white.

Lee: And incestuous! But then again we’re all quite incestuous, with each other.  

The new release ‘Blood of a Dove/Hint of Rennit innit’ is driven and aggressive, packs a punch along the lines of 400 Blows. Is the finished product as you imagined?   

Lee: Yeah! That’s cool, because they are a great band

Steven: Are we? I’ve never heard of them

Lee: Yeah. I’m good friends with Scott (400 Blows), but to be honest we were a band before we really knew of them.  

Looking at the videos on Kong’s Myspace, you appear to take keeping fit as serious as recording - it must be difficult keeping up that strict regime on tour, how do you manage? 

Steven: I’ve never exercised in my life

Lee: Yeah you did, we had the gym in the studio

Steven: Oh yeah, I punched a light out while I was lifting weights. If you were meant to lift weights, then you’d be born with more weight. 

So how do you relieve stress on tour? 

Mark: Food parties

Lee: Burrito parties

Steven: I ate a prawn’s face off once. I chewed its eyes.  

You have the look of evil villains; do you think you may have been overlooked for a role in the new Batman film? 

Steven: If you look at the Batman film now they are trying to rip each others faces off, but in the older episodes they were a lot nicer. I remember seeing a clip where Batman and the Joker had a surfing competition.  

(I present the band with a picture from Kong’s website - in which they ask fans to colour the bands outfits in and send it to the band. I coloured the band as characters from 'The Dark Knight' film) 

Steven: Oh you’ve done one of the pictures, excellent!

Lee: That’s excellent, that’s the ‘Boys Going Loco' album cover.

Steven: That’s the first one that’s been done, No one has done an entry yet, so you might win a prize. Colour in Kong, fucking good effort that. I see you learnt at primary school to stay in the lines, but you didn’t learn that whole ‘solid colour aspect’.

Lee: He was saving his felt tips... 
 

Fucked Up - The Chemistry Of Common Life

Fucked Up are 'that band' at the moment, the one to name check and say you saw in a squat 5 years ago, way before any of this 'fame' they have now. Luckily 'The Chemistry of Common Life' is an epic, inventive hardcore album; transcending the common view of hardcore as a movement of people who want to dress like they're in the army whilst kicking the shit out of each other to tunes about how 'posi' them and their jock mates are. The album has a really cool, folk-y feel to it, while still sounding pretty brutal. It makes me think of Tom Waits and Jefferson Airplane as much as it does The Bronx. I'm thinking that's a good thing.

Hello & Welcome...

Come in and have a gawp around the new (temporary) home of ControlMusic. We figured that while we wait for our official site to be unveiled we should break the ice a little bit, say hello n' that.

Hello.

Here you will find some of the articles that will appear in the first online edition of Control. Think of this as a sneak preview; a precursor to all the great things to come. To start with there's a peak at the Holy Roar Records label profile, Top 5 tour albums with Hawnay Troof and tour stories to warn of the true perils of life on the road. Over the next few days I'll be uploading some more nuggets of goodness to treat your brain to. Oh, this will also be a nice way for me to vent my spleen on the abominations that make up most of the world of popular music these days, and talk about stuff I like too...occasionally.

Lee

Deputy Editor (Music)

Holy Roarrrr!

Every month we will be profiling a record label we think you should know about, be it a brand new DIY folk label or an established 'legendary' label. Here's a taster of the chat we had with Ellen from Holy Roar records. Read the full piece on the iamcontrol.com when it goes live...

Current Roster – Mirror! Mirror!, Throats, Maths, Tortuga, the_Network, Dananananaykroyd, The Ergon Carousel, Devil Sold His Soul, Data Select Party.
Past – Gallows, Rolo Tomassi, Cutting Pink With Knives, Phoenix Bodies,Chronicles Of Adam West, Chariots, Kayo Dot, Bloody Panda,

Label ethos – Good bands, good releases, great times

What inspired you to start Holy Roar?

It coincided with us (myself and Alex, co-founder) moving cities and carrying on other stuff we’d done in the UK music scene; like putting on gigs, writing for magazines, and being in bands, etc. It wasn’t so much a moment of inspiration, more a natural continuation and the fact we wanted to put out some music by bad-ass bands.

What were your original intentions for Holy Roar?

We didn’t really have much beyond put out some great releases by bands we love in amazing packaging, and try to keep at it and keep things afloat. We’ve managed that so far, and we keep putting out releases. Now we just want to grow, and world domination will naturally follow.

Has it been successful in reaching your early expectations?

Definitely, although we didn’t exactly have a plan on where we wanted to go with it, but we knew what we were getting ourselves in for. Neither of us are naïve about the music industry, nor are we jaded and cynical; although perhaps I didn’t expect quite so many industry knobs.

Beautiful Girls!!

I asked Hawnay Troof, the electro alter-ego of xbxrx's Vice Cooler, to list his top five albums to travel/tour with. He ignored this completely and started going on about Sean Kingston. To be fair he can do what he likes in my eyes, his new album Islands of Ayle is so good I can forgive him anything.

"When I go on tour I don't usually bring any music with me since my travel arrangements are pretty hectic (covering as many spots as quickly as possible). This tends to lead me to a tour of Airports and Train Stations, so I try to hold back on what I bring.
That being said, I usually just go down the MP3 route and try to download whatever peaks my interest while killing time in my hotels. This past year brought a few surprises, such as Sean Kingston's 'Beautiful Girls'.
It started while in Strasbourg watching German TV (because it's on the border) when he came on Viva to do a live performance. Well, the only thing live about this performance was his very short, thugged-out back up singer who kept trying to 'hype' the crowd - who were all sitting at tables staring at them like a spaceship had just landed. He was the only person with the live mic. An odd pairing since Sean, who looked completley scared to be performing, didn't have one. Nor did his 'band'. Young Sean looked like he was straight out of Grease while his backing band was rocking a more vintage 'Jackson Five'-look. Where the mystery truly lied though was with his singing... I became intrigued by his use of lip sync-ing, which was done in such a poor way that a hand puppet would have worked better. I immediately searched on Youtube and found an early performance in which he is REALLY singing... hacking away and throwing more vocal bricks than a blindfolded basketball player.

Then came the hook:

(Damn on) these beautiful girls, they only wanna do you derrrr.
They'll have you suicidal when they say it's over.""

Though that is shocking to hear any young man say, it was really the following lyric that raised my brow:

"Back in '99, watching movies all the time.
When I went away for doing my first crime."

I thought "Ok, so how old is this kid?" At that moment, I Wiki'ed him and found out that his birth date is in 1990!!!!
Ok, so a tall, overweight Teddy Bear who looks like he is having a gun put to his head throughout his whole performance, which revolves around a lyric about killing himself because of girls who are "too beautiful", claims to have been nine when he committed some fictional crime which landed him in jail and resulted with a division between him and his love interest? And this is being marketed!?
So throughout my whole last tour I would have to say that this song is about five albums worth of songs in one. And oddly enough, I do relate to it. Maybe just not in the way that Sean (or his songwriters) intended, but because really stupid people, regardless of gender, do make me want to kill myself."

Tales from The Road...

Travelling all over the place, playing music every night and meeting countless freaks along the way sounds like a right laugh. Sometimes things go terribly wrong though, like Blakfish's van erupting in flames and Ollie from Johnny Truant busting up his knee...

"We had a van that was called Daniel, actually his full title was Sir Tobius Ryanheart of Ilford. He was a good van, he carried eight people and had a very unpredictable light in the back. When we first bought him we had to spend almost the same as we had paid for him on repairs, this was due to the bastard that sold him to us having a fake MOT on him, poor Daniel. Once we had him fit and healthy he drove us everywhere, between January and April 2008 he had taken us across the whole of the UK, Ireland, France, Belgium, Luxembourg, Holland, Germany and all the way to Denmark. I think that after this we had a better relationship with Daniel than we did with each other. We were all very sad when he came to an untimely end somewhere in Mosely. I think he had had enough of our antics and saw the only way out was suicide, luckily no-one and nothing was in him when he called it a day. We've just bought a new van, he's called Father. I hope he is stronger than Daniel, although I feel he won't be quite as loved…" - Sam, Blakfish

”A week ago in bastard Luton, disaster struck our band. While jumping about like a silly cunt on stage I fell on my knee in such a way that the entire thing popped out leaving me feeling not only in agony but like I just had a massive pie thrown in my face. A pie filled with custard and shit....actual shit.
Our new buddies in Blackhole quickly dragged me off the stage and up the stairs to the closest sofa. Here I laid in front of about 50 under age smoking scenesters all giggling after to much lambrusco bianco while I sat gritting my teeth so hard my gums bled. Sweet.
Now I don't want to dwell on the actual incident but rather the teeth itching hospital experience that followed after the event. Hospital is bad at anytime for anyone. It's a stale moody-as-shit place that no one wants to be, for any reason. However, just to make matters even worse I decided for some insane reason to take with me the Anti-Christ. Who is the Anti-Christ you ask? Alan Booth, our wonderful yet complete cunt of a bass player. While getting spoken to by people that didn't care, not being able to find a wheel chair; getting X-rayed, refused food and water and waiting for six hours; the wonderful Alan just added to the nightmare. While mocking me, teasing me and getting other patients to join in the mocking he would also eat in front of me teasing me about the fact that I hadn't eaten in ten hours. The only light at the end of this tunnel was for about 2 minutes when a hot female doctor rolled in and felt my leg. This was great. There was me with this hot doctor touching my leg when all of a sudden she decided to ram her fingers as hard as she could into my now even more painful broken knee cap. Fuck that doctor, fuck her to hell. Seriously, I'm fucking joining Godspeed You! Black Emperor or some shit, they just don't have these problems.
All that remains to be said is we finally got back home and decided to get a curry which Alan also fucked up. Forgot the rice and sat there like a smug prick at the hilarity of it all.
You may ask why he is still in the band if I hate him so much. That is simple - He is marvelous and I fancy him more than any other man alive. Oh, and he is my only real ginger friend. You gotta have a good ginger friend.” - Oliver, Johnny Truant